I'm a working mom whose 12-hour shifts make me miss my kids' lives. I feel I'm letting my family down but I love my work.

• Kimberly Hicks balances a demanding nursing occupation pinch raising 3 young children.
• Her 12-hour shifts often time off her emotion blameworthy for missing clip pinch her kids.
• Despite nan challenges, Hicks values her activity and feels nan agelong hours are worthy it.

This as-told-to effort is based connected a speech pinch Kimberly Hicks, a 39-year-old registered caregiver from Northern California. It's been edited for magnitude and clarity.

I've been a registered caregiver for 14 years. My spouse, who besides useful afloat time, and I person 3 boys, ages 10, 7, and 2.

My schedule varies from week to week. I activity 1 aliases 2 12-hour shifts astatine nan infirmary a week, depending connected nan needs of my unit. My shifts are presently from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. I'm besides an pedagogue wrong my hospital, truthful I walk respective days a week school patients successful an outpatient setting.

​​Working 12-hour shifts is challenging and is mostly strenuous physical, mental, and affectional work. I spell to activity earlier my kids aftermath up and travel location arsenic they're crawling into bed. I consciousness blameworthy that my occupation wholly removes maine from my kids' lives for afloat days astatine a time. I dislike missing their full day.

I'm besides building my ain business — a nurse-focused nutritional supplement brand, Replenishift —which I activity connected astatine astir 5:30 aliases 6 a.m. connected my days disconnected earlier my kids aftermath up, successful nan afternoons while nan babe naps, and aft nan kids spell to bed.

I time off earlier my kids aftermath up and only spot them erstwhile they're going to bed, if astatine all

I aftermath up astatine 5:30 a.m., get myself fresh for work, and caput retired truthful I tin beryllium astatine nan infirmary by 7 a.m. My kids aftermath up astir nan clip I commencement work, truthful I don't spot them successful nan morning.

On nan days that I activity 12-hour shifts, my 2 older boys spell to schoolhouse and past be an afterschool programme until their dada tin prime them up. My youngest son, who will commencement preschool later successful nan year, is either watched by my mother-in-law aliases by a coworker aliases coworker's college-age children.

I seldom perceive astir my kids during nan day. Sometimes I'll get a matter aliases a image of my youngest from whoever is watching him but for nan astir part, I don't cognize what's going on. As a nurse, I'm truthful invested successful what's happening pinch my patients for nan time that I'm wholly immersed successful their lives and measurement distant from mine.

I typically get location betwixt 7:30 and 8 p.m. — and sometimes later connected peculiarly difficult days.

On nan days I work, I don't spot my youngest boy astatine all. By nan clip I get home, he's already asleep. My 2 older sons are usually brushing their teeth and astir to get successful bed.

After I get retired of my scrubs and shower, we snuggle a small successful my furniture and they show maine each astir their day. I'm usually truthful tired physically, mentally, and emotionally that I person a difficult clip retaining nan accusation they show me, which makes maine consciousness guilty.

It's usually very difficult to abstracted them from maine and get them to bed, which I consciousness bad astir because I cognize they're conscionable happy to spot maine for nan first clip that day.

The mom guilt I consciousness is astatine an all-time precocious pinch my schedule

On my time disconnected pursuing a 12-hour shift, erstwhile I'm recovering physically and emotionally from nan time before, I get nan affectional aftermath from my toddler. He's typically some happy and upset erstwhile he sees maine — happy I'm there, but huffy erstwhile he realizes I wasn't location nan time prior.

He past becomes wholly attached to my assemblage for nan adjacent 8 hours. He won't fto anyone other do thing for him, he won't fto maine retired of his sight, and we go one. I'm easy overstimulated by touch and erstwhile I commencement to beryllium overstimulated, I statesman to consciousness overwhelmed.

I consciousness blameworthy for emotion annoyed. I cognize that it's thing that he needs, truthful I clasp and emotion him for arsenic agelong arsenic he wants to reconnect pinch him and fto him cognize I'll ever beryllium present for him.

The agelong hours are worthy it because my activity is important to me

I flooded mom guilt by being afloat coming erstwhile I'm pinch my kids. This is adjuvant for some maine and my children.

My kids ne'er intentionally effort to make maine consciousness guilty. When I show them that I person to activity astatine nan infirmary nan adjacent day, they'll often go upset and outcry aliases definitive frustration. I ever effort to validate their feelings and thief them understand why they consciousness that way, and I besides explicate why I spell to work.

Many of nan different nurses I activity pinch besides person feelings of guilt for not being location for 12 hours. Some group whitethorn conscionable say, 'Well, why don't you look for a accepted job truthful you tin activity a much group schedule, for illustration successful a doctor's office, wherever you tin beryllium location each time astatine 5 p.m. and person weekends and holidays off?'

But I really attraction astir nan organization I service astatine my infirmary and nan activity I do is truthful important to me; it's what fuels my psyche arsenic overmuch arsenic my family does. The agelong hours are worthy it and I wouldn't alteration it astatine this constituent successful my life.

If you're a moving genitor uncovering it challenging to juggle parenting pinch your profession and would for illustration to stock your story, email Jane Zhang astatine janezhang@businessinsider.com.