My parents paid every cent of my college education and they don't regret it, but I already know I won't do the same for my kids

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• My incredibly generous parents paid my afloat assemblage tuition and insist they don't regret it.
• Because I didn't salary for it, I didn't worth schoolhouse for illustration I should have.
• When I paid for grad school, I was a bully student who loved my programme and understood what it costs maine to beryllium there.

Growing up, we often visited nan field of my dad's alma mater and held alumni retreats astatine our house. The family joke is that my dada utilized to thin complete my crib and whisper, "You will spell to Wheaton College someday." 

And he was right. In nan autumn of 2003, I packed my bags and started assemblage 3 hours distant astatine my dream assemblage successful Wheaton, Illinois. My parents paid each of my costs, truthful for me, it was wholly free.

Because I didn't salary for college, I weighted it less

Since I wasn't successful complaint of paying for my education, I didn't person a attraction successful nan world. That's why, almost immediately, I spent much clip pinch caller friends than I did studying aliases attending class. I dedicated myself solely to societal extra-curriculars. Predictably, my grades tanked.

I besides went done a spot of an personality crisis, because successful summation to being distant from location for nan first clip successful my life, I transformed from an A and B student successful precocious schoolhouse to a C and D student successful college.

It was an affectional and confusing year. 

I firmly judge that if I'd paid for my education, I would person been a awesome student. I cognize this is existent because erstwhile I went to postgraduate school, I paid for each penny and was a acold amended student. Plus, I loved it.

It costs my parents much than $200,000 to nonstop maine to school

To hole for this article, I interviewed my parents astir what it was for illustration paying for my acquisition … and I'm still trying to swipe nan look of disbelief disconnected my face. 

They spent an outrageous magnitude of money connected maine per semester: $21,000, aliases $42,000 per year. Even worse, they paid for 10 semesters, adding up to $210,000 full by nan clip I graduated pinch a 2.5 GPA for a communications degree. 

I took longer to postgraduate because I switched from a business awesome during my inferior twelvemonth — hence why I spent 2 further semesters earning my communications major. For 1 of those other semesters, I took summertime schoolhouse and my tenth semester was spent moving a newspaper internship since it was my past request to graduate. In different words, my parents spent $21,000 truthful I could complete an unpaid internship. 

That said, I'd opportunity nan biggest culprits of my extended twelvemonth were procrastination and flakiness, which I profoundly regret and consciousness blameworthy about. I seldom did homework. I slacked disconnected successful people … if I moreover went. I pulled all-nighters to complete projects, which resulted successful dozing disconnected successful class. 

My parents don't regret paying for my college

I already knew my parents were saintly, but successful talking pinch them, I learned really overmuch they put maine first. For 1 thing, they refinanced their mortgage successful bid to money my assemblage experience, and they put retirement and regular savings connected clasp while I was distant astatine college. 

It besides became clear really bully they are astatine financial management. They ne'er took retired immoderate loans and they ever paid for my tuition connected clip — which intends they avoided building liking altogether. 

My dada is simply a expert and my mom was a homemaker. However, to thief salary for college, she became a realtor. Until our caller conversation, I ne'er afloat appreciated aliases moreover realized her sacrifice. 

But I deliberation they should person made maine salary for college; arsenic acold arsenic I'm concerned, not doing that was a mistake. Even a mini information would apt person changed my priorities. And until I figured retired what I wanted for a career, I besides should person gone to organization college. 

In nan sweetest of ways, they don't spot it for illustration that. As my dada put it, "I do not regret paying your assemblage tuition because we knew acquisition was important and we committed to it erstwhile you were a small girl." Despite their deficiency of regret, they admit that I should person worked successful precocious schoolhouse and assemblage to thief lend — and wished I would person amended utilized their investment. 

If location is simply a redemption story, it's that I sewage a occupation successful nan section I studied for. I utilized my communications grade to spell into nan publishing field, which I cognize helps easiness their mind. 

Why I won't springiness my kids a free thrust to college 

If I'd made a financial finance successful my assemblage education, I really deliberation I would person studied hard. 

My parents' parting contented was that my kids should work, aliases moreover better, tally their ain business — possibly trading things connected Amazon. And I agree: My early kids will activity by nan clip they're successful precocious school. 

My parents meant well, and I will ne'er beryllium capable to repay them successful gratitude aliases capital. However, erstwhile I'm a mom, my kids will salary for astatine slightest half their education, get scholarships, and see organization college.

They'll study to worth assemblage much than I ever did.

This article was primitively published successful August 2019.