My stepdaughter did $6,000 in damage to my house — should I sue?

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• For Love & Money is simply a play Business Insider file answering narration and money questions.
• This week, a reader's stepdaughter damaged a location intended to beryllium her inheritance.
• Our columnist says avoiding a suit mightiness beryllium worthy it — but it mightiness beryllium unavoidable.
• Got a mobility for our columnist? Write to For Love & Money utilizing this Google form.

Dear For Love & Money,

2022 was a unspeakable twelvemonth for me. My hubby died of cancer, and while I was driving backmost and distant to nan infirmary and rehab, his girl decided to extremity paying rent and assumed she would inherit nan house.

We had initially agreed that she would salary rent for 10 years, and past I would motion nan location complete to her. The twelvemonth before, she was getting kicked retired of her apartment, and I agreed to fto her move in.

What a large mistake! I had to person her evicted, positive each nan different chartless group squatting, and they near a immense messiness erstwhile I yet sewage them out. On apical of each this, she had personification break isolated nan 250-year-old granite foundation. It costs astir $3,000 to fix, positive nan missing devices and messiness costs astir $3,000.

I want to writer her for damages, but I don't person nan spot to do this. I person a work-related backmost wounded and americium incapable to look done everything to find nan due papers and pictures. Do you deliberation it's worthy nan extended clip and effort, particularly erstwhile I whitethorn not person capable spot to beryllium done court? I person until October; that's erstwhile nan 2 years are up for filing successful court.

Sincerely,

Too Tired to Fight

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Dear Too Tired,

For me, your mobility comes down to 1 thing: Can you spend not to writer your stepdaughter? You mention rehab, crab and backmost issues, a surgery foundation, stolen goods, and nan harm of an ancient location near successful squalor. Getting a home renewal loan to reclaim your life, home, and wellness will costs you a batch of money — hiring a lawyer to writer for damages could costs a batch more.

There's besides an affectional costs to calculate. This female went backmost connected her word, brought squatters into your home, and virtually destroyed a portion of her father's legacy. If it were me, losing a narration pinch her wouldn't beryllium nan worst deed I've taken, and successful nan chaos you presently find yourself trying to survive, she whitethorn beryllium 1 little atrocious point for you to woody with.

However, she is your stepdaughter, a tangible portion of your precocious hubby near connected earth, and location whitethorn beryllium different family relationships contingent connected nan spot of your nexus to her. All these affectional factors are worthy considering earlier you sever immoderate emotion near betwixt nan 2 of you pinch a lawsuit.

From nan sound of your letter, you are mentally and physically exhausted. You are grieving your precocious husband, nan nonaccomplishment of what could person been pinch your stepdaughter, and coping pinch nan accent of wellness issues and a imaginable worker's compensation case. Putting yourself done a suit whitethorn beryllium excessively overmuch for you. However, letting your stepdaughter get distant pinch nan financial harm she has done to nan location and her father's representation whitethorn besides origin you distress — particularly if you're nan 1 near footing nan bill.

Spend clip evaluating your position, and beryllium unflinchingly honorable pinch yourself. Can you forgive her and move on? Neither "yes" nor "no" is inherently correct aliases wrong. The correct reply is nan existent one. The only measurement to minimize nan affectional symptom this business will origin you is to grant your answer. If you request to fight, fight. If you are comfortable moving connected and avoiding nan hassle of justice, you should perfectly trim yourself nan break.

One point to see arsenic you determine whether to prosecute justness is really apt you are to get it. The affectional ramifications of taking your stepdaughter to tribunal only for a judge to norm successful her favour whitethorn beryllium devastating. You mentioned not emotion physically up to collecting evidence. But you will request to cheque your paperwork and spot what you person successful penning earlier deciding to return her to court.

Do you person impervious that she intentionally destroyed nan foundation? Is location a statement outlining your statement that she would salary you rent for 10 years earlier you gave her nan house? You person nan eviction documentation, which is simply a promising start, but do you person information footage aliases different grounds proving that she allowed different group to unrecorded successful nan location without your approval? You will request to stitchery each scrap of grounds you would show successful tribunal because having a winning lawsuit is cardinal to determining whether you should unfastened nan lawsuit astatine all.

There is besides nan mobility of this location being your stepdaughter's inheritance. From your letter, it sounds arsenic if her inheriting nan location was a foregone conclusion. Whether this originated arsenic a committedness from your precocious husband, an presumption connected her part, aliases it exists successful penning somewhere, you didn't say. Legally and emotionally, you must see nan inheritance portion of this arsenic you move forward. She whitethorn beryllium getting nan location 1 measurement aliases different down nan road, and if this is nan case, you whitethorn not want to discarded your clip aliases money making her salary for her self-sabotage.

And if this inheritance was thing your precocious hubby said he wanted for his daughter, while I would understand your desire to punish her for disrespecting his legacy, I uncertainty you'd want to do nan aforesaid by not pursuing his wishes. Without knowing really this inheritance was outlined, I can't measurement successful connected nan morals of your decision. Still, you must see nan correct point to do beyond nan personal, emotional, aliases financial costs of location repairs and ineligible fees. Your stepdaughter seems to person a surgery narration pinch doing nan correct thing, but you don't person to.

These considerations bring maine backmost to my original question: Can you spend not to sue? Avoiding a suit would beryllium nan easier path, but depending connected your affectional and financial position, you whitethorn not person nan luxury of taking it.

Whatever you decide, I'm rooting for you,

For Love & Money

Looking for proposal connected really your savings, debt, aliases different financial situation is affecting your relationships? Write to For Love & Money utilizing this Google form.

This article was primitively published successful April 2024.