SAUCY SECRETS: My husband destroyed my self-esteem with his 'innocent' secret. Now I've found out... and I don't think I'll ever get over his betrayal

Dear Jana,

For complete a twelvemonth now my partner has grounded to support an erection. It's really affected our activity life and I believed it was because he didn't find maine charismatic enough, which erstwhile questioned he hardly denied. 

Last week I was rummaging done his bedside tie for our spare telephone charger I recovered immoderate pills I had ne'er seen earlier truthful I Googled them, and it turned retired to beryllium antheral shape hairsbreadth nonaccomplishment tablets. Many articles came up during my google hunt informing of nan narcotics nexus to erectile disfunction. Judging by nan adjacent quiet bottle, he's been taking them for rather a while and made maine judge that our chamber issues were down to maine and not his quickly receding hairline. I'm truthful angry! 

How do I broach nan taxable pinch him without looking for illustration I was prying done his drawers? It's travel arsenic a immense alleviation but I'm struggling to get complete nan deception.

Help!

Anonymous

Oh anonymous,

This will beryllium nan simplest reply I've ever given, and I tin sum it up successful 1 word… divorce. Yes, divorcement that man. How situation he make you consciousness unattractive each because he's vain astir his bloody chrome dome.

We women already person to woody pinch periods, gestation and perimenopause, and now this man wants to propulsion 'unattractive' onto nan heap of crap we're already dealing with.

No. At nan very slightest he deserves a bully metaphorical spanking. (Not a existent one, we ne'er condone unit people!) And I wouldn't springiness 2 hoots if he arced up astir you going done his drawers, propulsion nan damn pill packet successful his guidance and shriek 'WTF?'.

Sure, we're each vain astir something. I mean, I've sewage a five-finger forehead that could awesome aliens successful outer abstraction if they strapped a radar to my head, but do you spot maine negging men because I'm insecure astir it? No. I conscionable jolly good get connected pinch it.

This man allowing you excessively consciousness insecure because of his insecurity is infuriating, and he deserves a bully talking to. So opportunity 'not coming Satan!' and make it clear that it's not good for him to task his insecurities connected to you. Full stop.

Dear Jana,

I've been chatting pinch a joined feline connected LinkedIn aft gathering him connected a cruise pinch my kids. I'm a recently azygous mom and saved up to return my kid connected this trip. While connected board, we connected pinch different family, and our kids became friends, truthful we ended up having dinners together.

One night, aft a agelong time of fun, his woman took their kids (and my daughter) backmost to their compartment for a slumber party. He and I stayed astatine nan barroom for a nightcap, and things sewage a small flirty, but we kept it harmless. Now that we're backmost home, he's pursuing maine connected LinkedIn. My friends deliberation he chose that level because his woman is little apt to cheque it.

I really bask our conversations, but I can't shingle nan emotion that it could lead to trouble. I'd for illustration to enactment friends, but is it risky? What do you think?

Anonymous

Ahh yes, nan level that sneaky cheaters flock to for a small flirtation - I cognize it each excessively well.

Your friends are bang connected pinch their opinions. This feline knows that if his woman is looking to drawback him out, Instagram and Facebook are her first stops. But 'LinkedIn is simply a profession networking app, for goodness' sake,' arsenic my dodgy ex-boyfriend erstwhile put it.

Spoiler alert: he was up to nary good.

A speedy Google hunt will uncover countless articles suggesting that LinkedIn has go nan caller making love app, and I person to agree. I'd propose passing disconnected that vacation flirtation arsenic a one-time point and attraction connected uncovering a cardinal different disposable men to befriend (or more). And decidedly steer clear of this 1 - there's thing scarier than a scorned wife. Trust me.

Dear Jana,

I dream you tin thief maine out. After 17 years of marriage, I find myself backmost successful nan making love world, and honestly, I'm emotion lost. Things person changed a batch since my past date! How do women for illustration to beryllium dated these days? Back then, I'd conscionable telephone their location telephone and return them retired to dinner. Now, these making love apps look for illustration a full caller ballgame and I'm uncovering them overwhelming.

I'm really conscionable looking for a bully female to settee down with, but I support proceeding that I should beryllium making love aggregate women and that drinks are nan measurement to spell alternatively of dinner. I could really usage immoderate proposal connected really to navigate this caller making love segment arsenic a feline successful his precocious forties. Any tips for this aged fuddy-duddy would beryllium greatly appreciated!

Thanks,

Roger

Roger, Roger, Roger, invited to nan modern making love era! You'll emotion (**cough cough, hate) it here. My first spot of proposal is to extremity listening to everyone other and day nevertheless nan heck you want.

If you want to induce a beautiful woman retired for a bully meal, past spell for it! If you for illustration to day 1 female astatine a time, I springiness you a mighty thumbs up. There are nary rules successful nan crippled of love; it's each astir what makes you consciousness comfortable.

But return it slow. This isn't a title to find nan adjacent Mrs. Roger. You mightiness beryllium emotion a small lonely and mislaid successful nan world of azygous life, but rushing to capable that void often leads to bad decisions. So, nan first measurement is to get comfortable being alone. Figure retired who you are without a female connected your arm, and you'll person a amended thought of nan benignant of personification you could happily walk nan remainder of your life with.

So why not day a fewer women - 1 astatine a clip if you like? Just for illustration Goldilocks took her clip figuring retired which porridge she liked best, return your clip to get to cognize each woman's characteristic and spot who useful champion pinch yours.

Get retired there, stud, and remember: dates are expected to beryllium fun, not occupation interviews!