TRACEY COX reveals the REAL reasons why women cheat - including being bored and feeling neglected

Infidelity is often seen done an overly simplistic lens: men cheat for activity and women cheat for affectional fulfilment.

While it's existent that men are nan astir opportunistic activity - put them successful a business wherever they deliberation they'll get distant pinch cheating and they often do – women aren't immune to immoderate basking activity and attraction either.

Recent investigation group retired to trial nan galore debated hypotheses astir why women cheat and came up pinch six main motivators.

Some mightiness conscionable astonishment you.

EMOTIONAL NEGLECT

'I'm not seen aliases heard. I'm portion of nan furniture: thing that he assumes will ever beryllium there. I deliberation he loves maine but it's an unsatisfying benignant of love. I don't conscionable want to consciousness loved, I want to beryllium desired and cherished. I was ripe for an matter and I consciousness nary guilt for enjoying it.'

The astir often fixed logic for infidelity by women is emotion unhappy successful nan relationship: almost 65 per cent of women successful nan study (conducted successful nan UK and Australia) cited this arsenic their logic for straying. Only 31 per cent of men listed dissatisfaction arsenic their superior information to activity activity extracurricular nan relationship.

The 2nd astir communal information for women to cheat is emotion emotionally abandoned. Women are 4 times much apt to cheat for this reason: only 5 per cent of men cheat if they don't deliberation their partner is 'into them'.

This overmuch is true: men cheat astir often erstwhile their beingness needs aren't met, women cheat astir often erstwhile their affectional needs aren't met. Emotional relationship is important for us. Robbed of it, we look for validation and affection elsewhere.

REVENGE AND RETALIATION

'I recovered a bid of matter messages that felt for illustration decease by a 1000 cuts. I don't want a divorcement because I emotion my hubby and kids. I didn't face him for that reason. Instead, I took awesome delight successful sleeping pinch a man from work. Only I cognize my secret, but it helps maine unrecorded pinch his betrayal.'

I cognize much than a fewer women who tick this box. A astonishing number of women cheat purely arsenic an enactment of retaliation: they did it because their partner did it to them.

It's not conscionable astir evening nan score: it's astir reclaiming a consciousness of agency and dignity successful a narration wherever we consciousness wronged. It mightiness not beryllium nan astir sensible people of action but nan impulse to wounded our partner nan aforesaid measurement we've been hurt, is difficult to resist.

Again, this isn't a communal motivator for men. Only 3 per cent said they cheated because their partner had.

TO REGAIN POWER IN THE RELATIONSHIP

'He makes astir of nan money and decides what we walk it on. Nearly each nan large decisions are made by him: I often consciousness for illustration I person nary authorities astatine all. A small spot of concealed spending and activity pinch an ex of excavation reminds maine that he can't power everything astir me.'

Feeling powerless aliases marginalised is not a bully emotion and cheating tin beryllium a measurement of regaining control.

In relationships marked by affectional aliases psychological imbalances, having an matter is simply a measurement of reclaiming a consciousness of control. It's peculiarly communal erstwhile a partner is overly ascendant aliases controlling. If you're excessively frightened to face directly, doing thing sneaky down their backmost to make yourself consciousness amended is nan adjacent champion thing.

NOT FEELING SEXUALLY SATISFIED

'I've fixed up connected trying to thatch my partner really to springiness maine an orgasm. He's truthful delicate and overly anxious astir immoderate benignant of criticism, I don't person nan bosom to show him conscionable really acold disconnected nan people he is. My matter is purely sexual. I person nary problem separating emotion and activity and ne'er have.'

This is nan only area wherever some genders agree: if you're not getting bully and regular activity astatine home, you're much apt to get it elsewhere.

Almost 9 per cent of women said this was nan logic they strayed, pinch 10 per cent of men agreeing.

Sex mightiness beryllium 4th connected nan database of motivators for women successful nan study but we're still susceptible to being seduced if activity pinch our partner is boring and dull.

WANTING SOMETHING 'THAT'S JUST FOR ME'

'Is it tattooed location connected them astatine commencement that men get to beryllium backmost and watch women do each nan housework? That we are nan ones who retrieve to nonstop day cards, cheque connected aged parents, support up pinch friends? My matter is nan only point successful my life that is purely for my pleasure, and I don't person to beryllium a wife, mother, girl aliases sister.'

Most women these days work. Most women these days still do astir of nan housework and mates jobs that support a family running.

The changeless accent of juggling career, motherhood, activity and different responsibilities time off galore women emotion unappreciated and overwhelmed. Some caput to nan spa for immoderate 'me time', others caput retired to meet a person to flight from nan pressure.

'It's thing that's conscionable for me,' is simply a connection therapists perceive a batch from women forced to warrant why they stepped extracurricular their marriage.

BORED AND CRAVING EXCITEMENT

'There's thing incorrect pinch my narration but I've been pinch nan aforesaid personification for 24 years. We some cognize everything location is to cognize astir each other. I'm not stupid. I cognize that's nan quality of a semipermanent narration and starting anew won't lick thing because I'll still extremity up successful this place. Having a small fling connected nan broadside now and past keeps things lively and makes life much interesting.'

It's nan logic slightest apt to triumph immoderate type of sympathy but besides nan 1 that astir of america will subordinate to.

Monogamy mightiness connection information and companionship but humans desensitise quickly and moreover successful bully relationships location are periods wherever life seems, well, monotonous.

Nearly 8 per cent of women said they'd cheated simply because they were bored; different 5 per cent said they did it because they wanted novelty.

Men besides cheat erstwhile they're saturated (almost six per cent) but are doubly arsenic apt to cheat for novelty (nearly 11 per cent).

• Visit traceycox.com for Tracey's blog, merchandise ranges, podcast specifications and books.